ST Protector

Paradox (198?). Programmed by Janko Mrsic-Flogel. Graphics by E. A. Leir.

A totally horrible game with very little to recommend it, which once again proved that Paradox loved shovelling out total pigeon plop. Basically a clone or at least a very loose copy of the classic Protector/ Defender etc genre. This game sadly stinks from its title screen to it's high score table. The graphics are pretty dire, with your ship looking like a Harrier Jet that has been painted by Austin Powers. However it's not this that is the main problem, bad graphics can be excused if the gameplay is good. Except it isn't, it is, in fact, terrible. The main problem is the game's implementation of the inertia that made games like Defender or Protector so good. In these sort of games, much like in real life, you can't turn on a dime. If you pick up speed and head in one direction then even if turn and apply thrust in another, it will take a while to slow down and start moving in the other direction. Unfortunately with ST Protector this is amplified to the extreme. If you play the game and start off not moving and try and turn to fly in the other direction what happens? Well for some unknown reason you move across the screen in the opposite direction, despite this being contrary to the laws of physics. Your ship is virtually uncontrollable and moves slowly even when flying in one direction. Avoiding enemies is impossible, and your weedy laser isn't much help either. This isn't helped by the fact their weapon shots follow you around, or if your flying at the top of the screen a constant, random stream of meteors is falling, hitting without warning now and again. Using the radar can help, but frankly I wouldn't bother. Go and try out the free Recoil game that came with Zero magazine. It is by far and away in a different league.

Zogging Hell Rating: 2/10

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